The baddest Polar bear in the land...

... has to be the University of Alaska's Nanook (WARNING: do not watch if you found the movie 'Titanic' distressing):

From the Vault: a look back at Sausagegate

It's been 6 1/2 years since the Sausagegate scandal. Here's a video of the incident:



Mascot Hijinks has learned that the perpetrator of this vile act of mascot assault, Randall Simon, has just returned to US shores after a stint in Japan. Mascots: beware.

Bucky gets rocked

Who knows what Wisconsin's Bucky the Badger did to deserve this beatdown:



ADDENDUM: on closer inspection, it looks like Bucky incurred the wrath of the MSU cheerleader by disrespectfully (and blatantly uninvitedly) swinging the Spartans' flag around.

Boomer dreams of being a gangsta...

... after a hard day's studying:

Strong moves from Big Red

What a Romeo:

There's a line, and you just crossed it

Boomer is repulsed by Big Red's antics, and desperate times call for desperate measures:

"'Tis one thing to be tempted, another thing to fall." - William Shakespeare

Fin, the Canucks' mascot, eventually succumbs to temptation as he officiates a sumo battle:

Move over All Blacks

The ferocious NZ rugby team is internationally renowned and feared for its Haka dance. However surely even the might All Blacks would tremble at this Haka rendition by AFC Wimbledon's Haydon the Womble:

Simply divine

Exeter City's Athena the Goddess receives a typically warm reception from the fans:

Never switch sides

Chirpy the Cockerel pays for a momentary lapse into supporting arch rivals Arsenal

How to give up smoking

Scunthorpe United's Scunny the Bunny demonstrates how to slay the smoking demon as his relentless pursuit of this cigarette eventually pays off:

Korean baseballers don't take $hit from anybody

There's only one to way to respond to a HBP; and the only thing more amusing is the umpire's superb strikeout call:

Wolf vs. Little Pigs

Not quite how it happened in the original fairytale, but as far as Mascot Hijinks is concerned, close enough:

All's fair in love and inter-mascot competition

As Mascot Hijinks has documented on several occasions, mascots have an intrinsic distaste for fair competition. In this crossbar challenge at Brittania Stadium, Stoke's Pottermus Hippo can't resist a cheeky rugby tackle on Wolves' Wolfie the Wolf as the latter is about to pull the trigger: [Watch from about 1:15 in]



As it happens, Wolfie's subsequent unimpeded effort was woeful...

NOTE: Does anybody know the name of Pottermus' girl-friend? Is there any truth to the rumour that Pottermus was upset with her overly friendly consolation of Wolfie?

The answer to England's penalty woes

Norwich City's Captain Canary coolly dispatches a penalty past Baggie Bird at the Hawthorns. Are you watching Stuart Pearce/Chris Waddle/Gareth Southgate/Darius Vassel/Steven Gerrad/Frank Lampard etc?



Clearly Harry Hatter should take note; is Captain Blade the answer to Capello's goalkeeping conundrum? He clearly 'made himself big...'



A Roberto Carlos-esque run up doesn't help Filbert Fox:

Calling all Mountaineers

Ever fancied being the West Virginia mascot? Here's the application form

Responsibilities include:

"The Mountaineer is responsible for the everyday care, cleaning, and handling of the rifle. The Mountaineer must pass or have passed WV Hunters Safety Course."

"The Mountaineer and the Alternate Mountaineer are the ONLY PERSONS permitted to fire the Mountaineer rifle."

Sidney Rice knows how to celebrate

In the divisional round of the 2009/2010 NFL playoffs, Sidney Rice shows no hesitation in his choice of celebration partner after catching a bomb from BF4:



Mascot Hijinks is disappointed that Viktor the Viking was not there to share the euphoria.

Gary Neville as a mascot???

This is a superb suggestion found in Football365.com daily reader mailbox:

"As Gary Neville is now way past his best and perhaps on his way to the great retired footballer scrapheap in the sky, many will no doubt in time miss the die hard Manc for his comedy antics and personality but fear not I have an idea...

Much loved mascot 'Fred the Red' is getting a bit tattered and old now so why not replace him with Gary in an all in one, red-sequinned Man Utd tracksuit? He could do star jumps in front of the opposition fans, warm up for no apparent reason, swear at unsuspecting members of the public, sing songs about his brother and how great Gary Pallister was, the list really could go on..."

Chip goes back to back

Chip the Buffalo just won his second straight national mascot championship. Here he is in action (MH was particularly impressed by his wielding of a water gun):

Current Events: Palanquinha

The 2010 Africa Cup of Nations is in full swing in Angola. While the standard of goalkeeping at the tournament is utterly shocking, it's good to see the standard of mascots remains unspoiled.

Palanquinha is a Giant Sable Antelope, the national symbol of Angola.

Mascot Hijinks has yet to locate any video of Palanquinha patrolling the sidelines of the continental championship. We expect he'll be there up through the final in Luanda on Jan. 31, so stay tuned as we try to seek him out.

Ragnar consoles Cowboys

From this recap by USA Today:


Even the Vikings mascot, "Ragnar," sought to console the Cowboys as they trudged off the field. Having taken off his Viking-horn head-gear, he patted running back Felix Jones on the back. Same drill with wide receiver Kevin Ogletree.

"Hey, they played hard," said Ragnar. "You gotta feel for 'em."

Cincinnati mascot broomball

Otto takes on the flu

Otto the Orange explores the transmission and expunging of flu:

Brutal attack on referee

Who knows what motivated this assault.

Raptor mocks 76ers

The Raptors' Raptor shamelessly mocks the 76ers pregame huddle:

Mascots confront competitive ethics during wellie wanging contest

After a failed attempt at cheating in a wellie wanging contest, Roary makes Captain Blade aware of his disappointment:



It turns out that Roary is not the only cheat; after an honest attempt by Waddney Robin, Build-a-Bear's Beremy can't resist the lure of illicit success:

Clarification

In a previous post we showed Poe kicking the crap out of this Bengals plush toy. We were mistaken, however, and further research showed it is actually Allan who is carrying out this ferocious act.

In fact, at one point there were three Ravens patrolling the sidelines for Baltimore's NFL Team. As you may have figured out, they took their names from famed writer Edgar Allen Poe author of "The Fall of the House of Usher" and, of course, "The Raven." Poe (the person) resided in Charm City for part of his life.

Edgar and Allan were retired after the 2008 season and now Poe is left to carry on their legacy of malevolence, though apparently he has acquired two actual Ravens (Rise and Conquer) to do his bidding.

Orange crush

Orange Bowl mascot Obie tweeted his desire to meet Orange Bowl entertainer, Gaga:



Mascot Hijinks wishes Obie all the best in his quest for companionship

Cheerleader bear-ly escapes with her life

Some seriously dodgy business going on at the home of the Rockets:

Mascots take advantage of extra-leg room

Bitterly cold temperatures coupled with small attendances (oh magic of the FA Cup - where art thou now?) at Hull vs. Wigan meant that Roary the Tiger and Stripey the Laticat could stretch their legs.

Pistol Pete gets de-'tached

The tale of how a bounty on Pete's mustache led to a suspension:

Poe: tell me how you feel about the Bengals

Baltimore Ravens' mascot Poe leaves small room for error in assessing his affection - or lack thereof - for AFC North rivals the Cincinnati Benglas:

Lee Corso class-A faux-pas

ESPN's College Gameday stud Lee Corso dropped a social clanger when, after donning the head of the Oregon Duck to amuse a blind child on set, he extended his hand to the blind child seeking a handshake.



For the record, Mascot Hijinks thinks that Corso is a nice guy and that it was a genuine mix up, but still - that was unfortunate...